Naruto Oneshots
by Werewolf not a goldenretriever
Summary: Basically a probably seldom-updates series of unrelated one-shots. Some will be longer than others and they will have different characters in them. (That is to say they will not be centered around any specific characters). They will also be in different genres and ratings though they will stay between K and T.
1. Stuck

"I'm stuck!" Deidara shouted to the retreating red head.

"What the hell do you mean 'you're stuck?!'" Sasori shouted back.

"I mean my tongue is stuck to the pole!"

It was a cold winter day with about five inches of fluffy white snow sitting on the ground below their feet. Sasori and Deidara stood at the entrance of the school with Deidara's hand resting on the metal railing while he yelled at the red head in pain.

It wasn't really an ordinary school, but actually it was one for people with special abilities or powers. It was nice to not have someone calling you a freak at every turn. This school was technically created to help kids with special abilities but most people know that really the government just wanted them out of their hair.

"Well what am I supposed to do about it?" Sasori leaned on the rail, gazing at his boyfriend's struggle to get one of his tongues off the cold iron.

"The same thing you did last time!" Dei exclaimed throwing his free hand in the air.

Sasori sighed. He knew the solution would hurt, but it had to be done. "I'm sorry." He whispered, placing his calloused hands around Dei's soft wrist. Deidara squinted his eyes shut waited for it.

He almost jerked back when he felt a pair of soft, warm lips touch his own. Almost.

He leaned into the kiss when suddenly a searing pain ripped through his hand making him jump backwards, almost losing his footing on the stairs.

"How many times do you have to get your tongue stuck to a pole to remember to keep your mouths shut?" Sasori sounded exasperated.

"Sorry, when I'm leaning against it it just happens. It's not my fault! By the way, that thing tastes fucking awful!" Dei exclaimed, shaking if hand and marching in a huff toward the school.

Sasori chuckled and followed his boyfriend to class.

=-=-=-==-=

 **(A/N): So basically this will be a seldom updated series of oneshots based around different characters in Naruto. Some will be longer than others, but hopefully all will be cute or funny! Constructive criticism is always welcome!**


	2. Switch

**(A/N): This one takes place in the same AU universe as the last one because apparently I felt like writing super power AUs in school but not all of them will. I promise. Also this one revolves around Sasuke and Naruto. (Not specifically Sasunaru but could be seen as such)**

222

Naruto extended his arm, seeing the red liquid-like substance form a giant, clawed hand in front of him.

He clutched his small hand in mid-air, seeing the big one in front of him mimic his action around the stone. He hummed low in concentration, moving his hand as slowly as he could. Once he felt the rock secure in his second grip he lifted it up, seeing the crack go up the side of the rock, he flinched as it crumbled, falling to pieces in front of him.

"Dammit!" The blond shouted.

"Baka." Was the only response he got.

"Just because you can control your fire perfectly doesn't mean I can lift something delicate up without breaking it! I've never had training!"

"Delicate? It's a rock dobe!" Sasuke retorted.

"Why don't you try out the super strength teme?"

"I would do better with it than you ever could baka!"

"Is that a challenge?" the blond retorted, ears growing pink in frustration with the raven.

"Naruto, how the hell do you suppose I try it out?"

"Ino!"

"Usuratonkachi, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not Ino."

"Shut up teme, I'm trying to tell you something!"

"Nothing of importance I'm sure," the raven muttered, rolling his eyes.

Naruto ignored the comment. "Ino, she can switch our powers!"

"No way dobe, if I let you have fire you'll blow up the school!"

"So you were bluffing earlier when you said you thought you could handle the strength?"

"What? No!" Sasuke argued, grabbing his friend's wrist and tugging him in the direction of the cafeteria where Ino would most likely be.

222

"Ino!" Naruto ran in front of Sasuke, calling for the platinum blonde.

Her head whipped sideways, attention pulled from her pink-haired friend, Sakura.

"What do you want Naruto?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest, looking annoyed. She glanced slightly behind the boy in front of her. "Oh! Sasuke! Did you need anything?" She asked, voice raising an octave.

"Switch our powers." The raven demanded bluntly, not saying more than he needed to.

"What?"

"I want you to switch Naruto's powers with mine." Sasuke looked bored.

"I'm not sure about that, I mean, I'm not sure if I could. That's really advanced stuff."

"Ah, c'mon Ino! You can do it!" Naruto cut in, putting a big grin on his face.

Ino looked a bit unsure, but took a look at Sasuke's impassive face, making up her mind.

"Okay, but we have to stay away from everyone else so there's no interferences." Naruto smiled and waited for the other two, practically skipping away. Sasuke just nodded and followed the giddy blond to an empty classroom.

Ino took a seat on one of the dark coloured desks, crossing her legs. "You guys might wanna sit down. I'm not sure exactly what will happen." Ino looked a bit nervous but after Sasuke and Naruto had taken a seat she proceeded to close her eyes and concentrate.

Sasuke looked at the platinum blonde and suddenly started feeling dizzy. The world around him started blurring, and then everything went black.

222

When Naruto opened his eyes he looked around the classroom, disoriented. He looked to his left, seeing a blonde girl in a purple outfit holding a damp cloth on the forehead of an annoyed looking ebony haired teen.

Naruto stood up, taking a step towards the two. "So, our powers are switched?" Naruto wanted to get straight to the point.

"Umm, they should be, if I did it right." Ino replied, turning away from Sasuke. The raven took this opportunity to slip out from the space in front of the girl.

"Sweet!" Naruto exclaimed, taking in a big breath like he saw Sasuke do before using his fire.

"Not in here!" Sasuke shouted, tackling the blond before he could let out the breath.

Naruto felt his back hit the ground, knocking the air out of him. He sucked in a big breath, -this time not intending to use fire- and looked up to see Sasuke straddling his hips. "What was that for, Teme?!"

"You would've burnt the school down!" Sasuke nearly yelled, throwing his hands down.

Ino looked at the two and giggled. Naruto remembered how they were sitting and shot the other a glare, face heating up. "Get off me!"

Sasuke looked down at him, face turning a slight bit red. The raven stood, quickly getting off his friend and turned around, crossing his arms.

Naruto thanked the blonde girl and waved, dragging Sasuke by the wrist to the training room where he could try out his new powers.

Sasuke "hn"ed and let himself be pulled through the halls by the blond. The room was still set up the way it was before from their earlier training, crushed rock littering the floor, fireproof targets set up along one wall for Sasuke to practice pinpointing his flames.

At this point Naruto got impatient and took a deep breath, focusing on (and hoping for) fire to come from his mouth. He blew out, happy when a stream of flames came out, hitting two targets with its wide spray.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows seemingly surprised Naruto could use his power so well. When he started out he could barely get a spark and after he mastered actually summoning the fire he couldn't get it to condense itself well and was now even only a little better than the blond.

Scowling he focused on his hand trying to summon the same thing Naruto did when he used his power. Nothing. Naruto smirked. Afterall he needed to know how a power worked before he could make use of it.

He looked at the shorter of the two hoping for understanding. Naruto smirked. " You have no idea how it works do you?"

Sasuke sighed. "Not a clue."

"The problem is that you're trying to pull the power from inside of you. It comes from the air around see, technically my power is pulling energy from my surroundings. Not super strength. That's just something I get from it. Though I can also manipulate my own energy to help the outside energy do what I want it to"

"Wait so you're saying that red covering around you when you're using your power is pure energy?"

"Well yeah. What did you think it was, blood?"

"Well I didn't really know, I hadn't thought about it." The raven admitted, looking away with a light blush covering his pale cheeks.

"Okay so concentrate on the energy around you and draw it in. If it helps when I started out I had to meditate to get energy."

Sasuke considered for a moment then sat down with his legs crossed in front of him, concentrating on drawing energy from around himself.

He felt it build up around him and opened his eyes seeing a red energy cloaking him. The raven stood up, reaching out for another boulder in the room. Unlike with Naruto's power it did not maintain a roughly human or animal shape but instead spread out with no distinct shape around the stone and crushed into a pile of fine pebbles at his feet.

Naruto laughed. Sasuke went to hit him upside the head and remembered what he had just done, stopping at the last second just in time to see Naruto dive away from the seeping energy.

The blond got up, brushing imaginary dust off himself before speaking, "I told you it's hard!"

"I did that on purpose." The raven lied. Naruto may not be the smartest tool in the shed but he wasn't an idiot. He saw through the raven easily.

"Sure you did pretty boy." Naruto rolled his eyes at the other, chuckling at him.

The raven glared at Naruto, letting go of the energy around him. "What else can you do with it?" He asked, determined to do better on the next thing. He and Naruto rarely trained together so he hadn't seen much of the blond's power though after learning that strength was only a fraction of it he was curious to see the rest.

Naruto thought on it for a moment, apparently deciding what to advise Sasuke to try. "Well the first thing I learned how to do was make clones of myself. For this you combine the outside energy with your own to create a replica of you. It should be solid and sentient." Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows. Naruto could do that?

He did as he was advised and closed his eyes in concentration to draw energy first from the room he was standing in and gathering it around him before picturing his own energy and taking a little of it to put into what he had just gathered. He felt the warm energy drain just a little before he opened his eyes to see a blue formless blob on the floor in front of him. He squatted down and poked at it with his index finger. In a poof of white smoke it disappeared.

He turned to Naruto who seemed more than slightly amused at this. Sasuke didn't say anything. "Okay- so that's never happened to me but maybe if you tell me what you did I would be able to help," Naruto offered with a grin.

Sasuke sighed. He really wanted to be able to do something with this power even if it was only his for an hour or so and it was making him feel ridiculous to be so useless with such tremendous power. He reluctantly nodded and started explaining his thought process during the failed clone attempt.

"Well the first problem there," Naruto started, "is that you didn't use nearly enough energy. Since these clones are basically you they have to start off with everything being _exactly_ the same as you. Including you power level. This means that to make one clone you have to split your energy in half or to make two you'd have to split it in thirds."

Sasuke's eyes bugged from his head. He didn't have access to that much energy. He felt tired after using hardly a quarter of his energy never mind half of it! "There is no way you have that much energy." Sasuke stated simply.

"Actually," said the blond, "I have abnormally large stores of it so it was easier for me to learn that technique by creating about eighty clones at once so that I wouldn't have to control the output of energy. But it took hours of meditating to get the right amount of outside energy to match it. The clones use equal part inside and outside energy as it's outside energy that gives them form in the first place."

Sasuke was surprised. In all honesty he hadn't expected the supposed idiot's power to be so complex. His own was very simplistic and was one of the basic ones that you could figure out how to at least use roughly as long as you had a brief understanding of energy manipulation- as Naruto had shown. The blond was currently sitting down and forming a butterfly shape in flames above his hand.

To use Naruto's power on the other hand he had to have a full understanding of how to work each technique and have huge amounts of energy- both within and outside- to be able to utilize the power in any useful way.

222

Naruto had headed off to class and had warned Sasuke that if he stayed in the training room any longer he would be late. But Sasuke, being as stubborn as he was had decided to stay in the room for just a few more minutes to try and get a hold of the powers. He had eventually taken a break when he began to feel tired and was now headed off to class, ten minutes late.

During his short training session he had accomplished destroying another seven boulders and making one more blob before he started noticing a headache that got stronger he he continued. _Probably using too much energy,_ he reasoned.

This was one of the classes that he shared with Naruto and its main focus was the study of using your energy manipulation to defend yourself- both from other people who could control energy and from people who could not. Though most of the time they simply studied from the books because with everyone having such varying powers it was difficult to keep track of what everyone was doing. Today happened to be one of those one in a million days that they were to actually use their power.

And of course Sasuke had no idea what was going on when he walked in other than the fact that he was shit out of luck.

Everyone was lined up in front of a target, and their teacher, Kakashi had just finished explaining what they were to do. The raven sauntered up to Naruto, knowing Kakashi wouldn't care that he was late and had likely already marked him there.

"What are we doing?" He whispered urgently over the chatter of the classroom.

Naruto responded immediately with a scowl. "I told you that you would be late!"

"I know, just explain, dobe."

"Fine," The shorter of the two huffed. "Hit the three targets at the front of the room simultaneously without hitting the space between them."

"What? I can hardly do that with my own powers! Nevermind your stupid outside energy shit!"

"Hey! My powers are just hard to control cause they're so powerful! Yours are just fickle!"

"Fickle? Really? You know, I'm a little surprised you know that word." Naruto scowled. "And frustrating is more like it. Either way how am I supposed to get this? Ino isn't in this class to switch us back."

"You know, failing one thing won't kill you! This is the only class that I'm good at! I need to be able to do this! Ugh, stupid bastard, this is all your fault!" The blond whisper-shouted.

"My fault? You're the one who was so insistent on changing powers! Just figure out how to do it!"

"Can't you help me? Tell me how to do it?" Naruto begged.

"Only if you return the favour." Sasuke shot back.

"Fine, fine! But hurry, we've only got half the line left!"

"Okay, idiot, just concentrate on making fire come from your mouth and hands at the same time for three streams. The reason I can't do it very well is because it takes a lot of energy, but you obviously have enough to do that. Just try to remember to control it and don't burn down the whole classroom." When Sasuke said it, it sounded so simple. The blond didn't know why he hadn't thought of it. It was most likely the panic of the whole situation.

"Mine's easy enough. Just focus your energy and make the extra hand out of the energy in the air around you but make three instead. You can change the shape of the energy be using your own to put a coat around it and shape it. Easy enough right? And it doesn't use too much of our own energy." That sounded complicated. He hadn't even succeeded in making a shape out of the unfamiliar energy surrounding him never mind controlling it to hit three tiny targets.

On the bright side there were a lot of people who seemed to not be able to do it perfectly. Choji had just punched the whole wall using his expansion to hit the targets but also managed to hit all of the space between them. Hinata had had to hit them separately since her power depended on her physical body and she could not extend it to hit something out of her reach, and Kiba had hit two by instructing Akamaru to take out one while he did the other then teamed up for the middle one.

Not long after, it was Naruto's turn. He stepped up to the front and extended both his hands before him, taking in a deep breath. Then, focusing on having three thin streams of heat created he shot triplet blasts of flame at the targets. He did manage to make all of them hit where he wanted them to though they overflowed to the surrounding walls by a few inches for each target.

Kakashi's eyebrows rose at the unexpected power display. He had had these students in his class for more than four months and he knew for certain than Naruto did _not_ have the ability to create or manipulate fire. Where was this coming from?

Then Sasuke stepped up and he understood. The young Uchiha held out one hand in front of him and closed his eyes. He seemed to wince as red energy swelled around his hand and shot out at the targets as his dark eyes opened. All three scorched and beaten targets crumbled to dust, along with the wall behind them.

Sasuke knew that he wasn't supposed to have destroyed that wall but at least he did manage to hit the targets separately. He shrugged and went to sit in his spot beside Naruto, ignoring the growing pain behind his eyes.

"That could've gone worse." Naruto commented with a shrug.

"Hn," was the other's only reply.

222

After class had ended Kakashi had pulled Sasuke and Naruto aside from the rest of their leaving classmates.

"What did you two do?" _Well, at least he's straight to the point,_ Naruto thought.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke tried to play innocent.

"Do not take me for a fool, Sasuke. You two have switched powers. And you have for at least a few hours to be able to control them that well. So I will repeat, what did you do?"

Both teens grumbled to themselves before Naruto spit out an answer. "We had Ino switch our powers for today to see how difficult it is to deal with having different abilities." He was trying to make it sound reasonable.

"Boys, do you know how dangerous that is? You are born with your specific abilities for a reason, and having someone else's may trigger your body to reject them. You may end up losing that ability for the other person forever." Both teen's eyes widened as they looked at the other. "Can you get Ino to switch them back?"

"Her schedule is different, she'd be in class now." Naruto pointed out.

"I'll give you boys a pass so that you can go get her out of class and reverse this _now._ The longer you're like this the higher the risk becomes. And do not keep using the other's power. Got it?"

They both nodded and waited for Kakashi to write up the passes before dashing out of the room and towards Ino's current class.

222

They barged in and shoved the note at Professor Asuma before grabbing Ino out of the front row of the class and dragging he into the empty classroom next door while other students ogled them and she demanded an explanation.

"Switch us back." Sasuke demanded simply.

"Now? Why couldn't you have waited until my class was over?" Ino questioned with a suspicious look on r face.

"Ino, please, if you don't we may both lose our powers forever!" Naruto pleaded.

The girl's eye bugged. "What? What brought that on? And if you knew that in the first place why did you ask me to switch them?"

"We didn't know! Kakashi told us a minute ago and gave us a pass to get you out of class to fix it! So can you?"

Ino shut her eyes gave a long sigh to calm herself down. Then upon opening her eyes, nodded. The two boys sat themselves next to each other on the desks and stared at her, waiting. Unlike last time, the dizziness wasn't immediate. "Naruto, you seem fine, but Sasuke, Naruto's power is really hard to grab, like it's struggling to escape. This might be a little more difficult than the first time." She informed them.

Then, refocusing, the girl shut her eyes with her hands in front of her, envisioning the power in front of her. And in a way, she could see it. Sasuke's calm attitude on the outside with a raging flame inside is what she could "see" as she grabbed onto the raven's power.

Naruto started feeling dizzy and decided to lie down on the desk before he fell over like last time.

After grabbing the subdued ball of power she then focused on Sasuke's body and saw Naruto's wild attitude coupled with the strength of the earth he stood on, struggling to escape and grabbed onto it, soothing it as best she could before giving it a shove towards its proper owner.

By then Sasuke had cried out as he felt the power rip from him- awake unlike last time. The power that Naruto was supposed to posses wasn't letting him fall out of consciousness like he so wanted to but rather seemed to want revenge for being used by the wrong person. He fell back and felt an odd emptiness inside of him for a moment before a warm feeling began in his chest and his eyes slipped shut, embracing his own power.

222

Once again, Naruto was the first to wake up with Ino hovering over Sasuke, trying to see if he was okay. The blond held a hand in front of himself and concentrated on bringing the energy around him to his fingertips. He was happy and comforted to know that he could once again use his own abilities, even if he had only had them taken away from him for a few hours. Though oddly, it also felt good on a deeper level, as if his power was glad to be back to him. He felt warm and nice, like he was wrapped in a fuzzy blanket on a cold day.

Sasuke's eyes opened slowly and he found that the headache he had developed earlier had vanished, to be replaced with a familiar warmth that his body had unknowingly missed. He smiled internally and sat up, shooing away Ino's concerns and thanking her. He held his hand in front of him and with his index finger extended, created a flame the size of one on a candle.

"So," a voice from beside him rang out.

"Never again," he echoed what the blond was thinking and got up, walking out of the room without another word. Naruto chased after him and started chatting about how much easier fire was to control and eventually moved on to miscellaneous topics that Sasuke couldn't bring himself to pretend not to listen to.

 **(A/N): Wow, that turned out longer than I expected! Ten pages! Anyway, hope you enjoyed, I promise the next one won't be super power school. Please review, constructive criticism is always welcome!**


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